The beer garden did not meet my very high expectations. It was beer in an open space. Like beer on someone's apartment patio. LAAAAAAAAAME.

The flowers have continued.


My faithful readers know about the digestive aerobics that belong to my dad. He's had mud butt for about 20 years now and the tales of his trails (of the shit persuasion) are legendary in my family and in my circle of friends. Well lately he hasn't been feeling very well and it has stretched beyond his inability to eat anything spicy, fatty or salty.

My dad called me a few nights ago, which he never does. Apparently he went to the doctor several months ago and the disagnosed him with colon cancer. He went back again a few weeks ago and it has spread to his small intestine. It's bad. And he hasn't told my mom or my brother.

I don't like serious things

flowers in her hair....flowers down my drain

If I have to hear one more asshole at work jokingly say "You don't feel well? It's probably the Swine Flu" and then actually chuckle afterwards like they just made a funny I am going give them a giant wedgie and spit down their ass crack.

I work with a bunch of goobers. They're not funny. They're all a bunch of nerds. Stick to what you know. Testing for semen, cutting people open, and runnign blood through computer databases. Thanks.

I've gotten flowers every day this week. From who, you ask? That's an excellent question and if I knew I would gladly tell you. However they're all delivered without a card. And they've all died a sad and tragic death. Death by garbage disposal. Run over by my car. Eaten by my dog.

I don't know who the creepy fucker is that thinks he's wooing me with flowers, but whoever he is obviously doesn't know me. If he really wanted to get into my heart (aka my pants) he would buy me booze, dark chocolate, give me money, and give me a back rub without complaining.

So EX and I have been communicating only through texts and only in regards to the pup. He sends me a text that simply says "leaving". I go over to the house, spend time with the dog and text him an hour or so later saying "leaving dickface".

No closure. I need a full blown argument. His avoidance is only further enraging me. I've had to fight the urge to tell him I'm leaving and just wait for him to come home so I can throw boiling water on his face or something.

I'm going to a beer garden tonight. Don't know what that is but I'm hoping it's some kind of Willy Wonka situation, but with beer.