Friday, November 17, 2006

Like the 90210 Walsh's, this one has been cancelled

I liked the arrangement I had with Walsh. It was about as close to relationship perfection as I can personally get right now. He's attractive, funny, good in bed, has great taste in music and obviously great taste in women. He wasn't too romantic and gooey, but he also had moments where he could make me feel like a big faggy mushy centered girl. He lives 2 hours away so I only had to see him on the weekend which meant there was only enough time for eating, fucking and generally having a good time. No room for bullshit. We didn't have enough time together to find things we hate about eachother. 2 days out of the week I had someone that would fuck the ever loving shit out of me and make me see God and then he'd go home and I could go about my life not worrying about him.

But all good things must come to an end and nothing is ever as perfect as we want it to be. Or rather, usually one person's idea of perfection doesn't exactly fit someone else's.

Apparently Walsh thought it would be a good idea to call me last night, just about 24 hours before he's supposed to be sticking his dick in my mouth and pulling my hair, to discuss "where we are". Of course me being the constant smart ass I had to say something along the lines of "Well, I'm at home...where do you THINK you are? Have the aliens come back?" Usually my endless wit would make him laugh but not last night. No last night he was in full on serious mode, a side of most people that makes me want to kick puppies.

He asked if we were just dating, fucking, just friends who fucked, a full fledged couple. I told him I hadn't thought about it because I don't think about those things.

Then he asked if we could, should or were seeing other people. I told him I wasn't, that I didn't know what "should" was supposed to mean, and that I didn't really care if he wanted to go out and date other chicks...as long as he wrapped that bad boy up. He trapped me. He pulled one of those tried and true girl moves where they ask you a question and they say they want honesty but really they already have their version of the right answer in their head. And if you don't give it to them they freak out.

He didn't really freak out psycho girlie style but he did ger upset.

"Maybe this whole long distance thing isn't going to work."

"Why? It's working fine for me" - yes, I'm insensitive...whatever...

"I guess I didn't think it through when we started. Or maybe I didn't think it would get this far."

"You mean last this long? Because honestly we're in no different 'relationship' (insert the actual gagging sound I made here) position than we were when we first decided to do this."

"That's the problem."

***Silence***

"Sooooo....you're not coming out here this weekend?"

"Probably not."

"Ok, well...I don't know what else to say here. I want you to come out here but if you're looking for a girlfriend I'm not going to make you very happy. Honestly all I want is what we've been doing the past few weeks. If that's not cool with you then we're done here.".

***Silence***

"Are you pouting?" ***silence*** "Ok, bye."

And then I hung up. Yeah, I was kind of an asshole But come on! Is it such a bad thing to want a no-strings attached "relationship" with someone I enjoy being around small amounts of time? I didn't have to worry about running into Walsh at a bar or at the store when I didn't want to see him. I didn't have to worry about him calling me and wanting to hang out on a night when I just wanted to veg the fuck out. We had the ideal situation and he had to ruin it by getting all emo on my ass.
What has happened to men? Give me a caveman from the Geicco commercials. Those assholes know how to treat a lady!


On a completely seperate note I'm trying to get my blogroll in order. So if you'd like to be linked on my profile, leave a comment and let me know. If I barely know you or glance at your blog and decide you're boring I'm not going to add you. Yeah that's just the honest truth. But you can try to win my affection over anyway.

14 comments:

Memphis said...

Ah Steph, that's sad. It sounds like he doesn't want to drive all the way home each time. Maybe call him back and say "come do me and you can sleep in my bed all spoonlike." Or else he's genuinely looking for something more. I guess that's possible, too. I'd say that you're not a "phone person" but I think you've said you talk this way to guys face-to-face, too, so that can't be it. All I can figure is that if he's going to drive that far he wants a little more. Or maybe he has a girl there, too, and she wants to know what he just asked you, "where are we"? So now he has to give her an answer depending on your answer to him. I'm totally guessing here. All I know for sure is that I hate when you're alone. You aren't happy and then I'm not happy. Somehow we've got to all pull together and find The Steph some pee pee!

New Texan said...

What a sad little story... so, to get this straight, the dude gets non-commital sex from a hot chic, doesn't have to be bothered by her all week, and all he has to do is make a 2 hour drive? And he wants to know WHERE HE IS?

New Texan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
New Texan said...

Ooops... went stupid and posted without finishing... commentus interuptus... anyway...

Here is where he is:

FUCKING PARADISE.

Lose him... he ain't worth it.

Plus, it is a great sociological experiment to see how many guys you can do this with who end up being idiots. Before reading your blog, I would have guessed "zero" but apparently I was wrong.

Steph said...

Steve- Yeah I have no idea what he's thinking and honestly I don't care much. He had a pretty ideal situation going on and if he wants to push his luck and get all ookey then he misses out. I'm not too sad about it. He's a cool guy and we had a good time but it was never more than just that to me anyway.


Texan- Get your comment posting shit together, will you? Jesus. :P Yup he's pretty much a fucking retard. He'll regret it when he's dick deep in some chick that tells him she loves him after 2 dates

browser58 said...

Obviously Walsh did not know you very well, at least in the non-biblical sense, or he would have known exactly where you were.

New Texan said...

Steph... maybe that is what he wants... [shuddering...]

PJay said...

I think the bottom line is, once guys get past the hot bod, foul mouth, knock em down, drag em out sex encounters, the farting and burping, the rudeness and in your face attitdude that you display, they like you.

They really, really like you.

I can't see you being sans penor for too long - 1, 2 bar runs at most, and you'll have em banging down the door.

Blogosaurus Rex said...

Hmmmm...

Hmmmm...

More Hmmmmm...

My guess is, you need to find a dude you can have around all - ok, maybe some - of the time, who doesn't drive you crazy. If you find such a guy, you might not want to send him packing all the time. He might just fit so well it seems like he's not there.

You need a guy who's a lot like you, who won't get all weird on you, who appreciates the fact that you're not all mushy-girly-like. You need...

A musician.

Seriously, have you tried one? (No, I don't mean me...) I know lots of musicians, and I know they'd love to have a chick like you... Geez.. we can fuck all we want if we wear a rubber?? You don't mind that hot chicks some on stage and slap our ass/grab our crotch (yeah, that happens)? Sign us up!!! Do blowjobs count? (just kidding, well, sort of..)

You know how many opportunities we get everytime we play a bar packed full of hotties? It sucks to have a GF who gets all uptight about that.

Think about it. Musicians are always on the road.. they hate clingy girlfriends, some of us actually make money, and we spend a lot of time on:

-Gigging
-Our second careers (some of us have them)
-Writing music
-Hanging out with the band
-Riding on the bus/plane
-Looking at porn

Besides that, all we really like is sex. A lot of it.

Sounds like a match made in heaven..

Jon said...

Well he sure did fuck that up. What an idiot. My girlfriend and I have some similarities to your situation. She doesn't get too girly. We get together for great sex about once a week. I think the only difference is that I call it a relationship. Sorry for making you gag there Steph. You guys had a relationship, it was just not the kind of relationship he wanted to settle for. What a shame.

I don't know what I'll do if my girlfriend gets too mushy on me and starts with the "I love you" crap. There is a part of me that is afraid of committment. I think it comes from dating too many women that are tooo busy manipulating their boyfriend (yes, that is me) to know how good of a thing they have.

Even after reading all your shit stories I still think you're a class act.

Please don't go out and fuck the first guy that comes along. Keep your standards up. :D

Jon said...

You can link me if you want. If you do, does that make us an item ;-)

JohnnyBoy said...

It sounds like he is turning gay. Did he recently start listening to Bette Midler?

unique_stephen said...

I think you're boy's been taking to much estrogen.

unique_stephen said...

- oh, forget - beg